I can't watch pbs sober anymore
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
