That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
We had sex on a dog bed..
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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