Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
