hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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