I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize