What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
