thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
