So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
