Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I wish you could order shots online.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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