so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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