i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
That accounts for only three of the penises
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
