You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
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i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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