I hate your face
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
