I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
