So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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