he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm like, not good at living.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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