Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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