new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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