K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
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