But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
