He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
