Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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