I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
