Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
