But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I queefed so loud it echoed.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
