hotel room ftw
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Randomize
