she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
