coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
So much rum. So many feels.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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