that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
