normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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