sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I think I sprained my soul last night
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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