Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I have peed in a lot of sinks
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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