I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
