I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
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