I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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