Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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