Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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