No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Randomize