I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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