I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
