I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
