Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
