bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
