Duck Duck Cougar?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
