How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
