my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize