The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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