Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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