Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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