I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
