just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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