First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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