If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
