2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
