I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
