I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
