Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
love makes seman taste better
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
