Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
