did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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