I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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