we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
