She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
