Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
