I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
we should paint friendship bongs
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