It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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