Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
