She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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