Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
