shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I'm really busy with my period
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