you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
