Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
